I played my first golf tournament
I declined a CEO position offer
I listened to more than 550 podcast episodes
I invested over 10k in myself
I overcame my procrastination
I accepted my fear of not being enough
I startet my own online business
I sold a 4 mio. house in 3 weeks
I followed my gut feeling
I trusted my heart
I stopped listening to others
I became seen and the woman who I really are, bold, daring and curious
Before we went off for some holidays in Italy, Bogogno – where for the first time I played Golf for one week – I checked some youtube videos. Reminder videos like; what you have to pay attention, how to let go of your distructive mindset, how you get your thoughts out of your way and just play without thinking too much…and suddenly this little ball flies high and some times even straight forward.
Not that straight forward was my decision when I received the job offer for a CEO position. It was a rollercoaster, gosh. I couldn’t make up my mind. Should I go for a very good salary – or – a 3k investment for a new business ? For a new online business. My own business. After invested 2k in becoming a psychology therapist in the beginning of the year I thought this was it. I finally declined the job offer and invested in myself.
I got stucked on to the free Masterclass and I don’t remember why – but I did. I should have worked on something else, but this woman catched my attention for literally more than 4 hours. I checked on her Sigrun Gudjonsdottir, from Iceland, based in Zurich. A role model, leader and online business entrepreneur who understands how to brng the best out of you and helps women grow their online business faster and with long-term success.
Listening to women who succeeded in online business made me wonder, curious and at the same time I felt jealous. And on top I was sceptical; “aha….that’s how successful online business female look like…”
I did not believe them and decided for my own inner peace to switch off. My lizard brain became active as never before; it whispered; “you do not have money to invest” – “and anyway it’s to good to be true” – “and success is for other’s definitely not for you” – and the one I carried since my childhood; “who are you – to be seen”
And then, there were these arguments and hints between the lines, from people I admire, love and care. Arguments like; “your way of writing, posting and behaving is unprofessional”. It stopped me for a while, in the meantime, my son, send me some podcast links and I started to listen to Gary Vee, he made me believe in myself again.
The free Masterclass in June 2019 drove me nuts. There was this feeling of finally being able to do what I love to do. Transforming homes into castles. I was seeking for this my lifetime. I watched the review of the masterclass and checked all testimonials, read them forward and backward, checked on the women, scrolled through their webpages, watched again and rechecked everything.
2019 changed my world completely, even though I knew from my own experience that there is no master’s degree or bachelor needed to be in a leading job position – I still had the believe, online business is trash. People who are gaining money through this online business stuff aren’t for real.
SOMBA led me to overthink my believes “you become a millionaire through online business”, overnight. Seriously, I believed this. Somba changed me as a woman and my believes for the better.
The start into the online business world changed my entire life. From insight out. I believed I knew where I was going. I have to admit; I did not had a clue, no plan and for sure no structure to build up my own business. I went through a big inner process, I learned during these 6 months more then in my last 10 years in business and life. Overcoming jealousy and wrong believes was hard, on the other hand I experienced true friendship, tremendous support and the most encouraging community.
I denied my true self for decades. Starting my online business opened up a new world. Even though I did not understand how this worked. It drove me nuts. Freebie, Landing Page, Activ Campaign, Mail Chimp, List Building, Divi, Webinar, MasterClass, Summit….name it. I seriousely did not had a clue what they were talking about.
I booked a call with Sigrun’s Team. Whatever it takes – my decision was clear. I want to be one of these entrepreneurs. Beside my Kids & my Life Partner this was the BEST choice I ever made.
This blog post should be about looking back on 2019 – but I would love to invite you to go back a little further so you understand why 2019 made me seen myself and the people around in a different light.
As first born, mostly unwanted child, I had the strong need to be seen. Instead of being a boy, obviousely I am a girl – a woman today and my childhood was quiet okay, my parents did what they could. Still, I never had the feeling to be seen, to been appreciated for what and who I am. At 22 I married and thought this is the way of being seen. Our marriage failed after 8 years and we separated. Not only because I had the feeling I wasn’t seen, there were several other reasons of course, which had impact as well.
After my separation I started to slowly focus on my career, beside my two young children and the burden to ensure enough income. Beside my regular job I worked as a cleaner, took care of an elder couple, worked as a bar tender, as a salsa dancing teacher, sold houses and apartments and never stopped watching out for opportunities.
Many different jobs are listed on my CV – but I never found what I was looking for. Never had the complete breakthrough – never had this feeling of being fulfilled even though I got a great job as a Sales Director in furniture business.
In January 2015 I was determined like never before and hired 4 new people; our goal: to double the turnover and strive for success – no matter what it takes.
After 3 years, with no holidays, and 12-14 hours daily work, a lot of internal & personal pressure, challenges and changes, I experienced a hearing loss. Caused by high blood pressure I was sleeping max. 3 h per night.
The one important question I asked myself during this time of my life was; “is this the place where I am supposed to be?” Definitely not.
During my recovery I received the termination letter. I couldn’t believe it. What was going on?!
There it was again, the feeling of not being good enough, not seen.
More than 6 months without income, horrible personal and emotional fights and close to hundred lawyer appointments – I was clear on winning the trial. And I did. In January 2018 it was over.
The hardest part, wasn’t even to pull them into court – the hardest part after so many years, of work, input and engagement, I was “deleted” from one day to the another – as simple as that.
I had the choice continuing with regrets, bad thinking, being angry, sad and desperate.
If you know me, you know, this would not be an option. I choose humility and strived for happiness. The best way to turn things around.
I stepped back. Back from everything. I was used to it from my former life and did not had any issues with it. I focused on myself again, started to figure out what I was seeking for. During these months I did some inner work and watched out for some changes.
March 2018 this Mother Day-Promotion where my Kids thought they would do me a favour by sending me a link for a dating platform (PARSHIP) who offered 50% off – “for desperate Mom’s who are aiming for real love” I signed up – just for fun. I did not expected anything.
Okay, well I started a profile, added some pictures of myself and my dogs, clicked enter and off it went. A few hours later I came back and had to open some Pinot Grigio – literally 200 Emails with a message from the platform host “Your Inbox is full”.
After the 5th email I was done. Have I mentioned I didn’t answered all these funny & silly questions to complete the profile in an appropriated way. Most of the questions I didn’t took serious at all.
Ha! Here we go. His pictures showed a loving, warm hearted and happy person and we started to send messages forward and backward. After a couple of weeks, we finally met and since this day we both know, it is this one of a kind relationships.
Handsome. Good looking, Italian Men, Sporty Football Coach, Handicap 19, best Carbonara Cook and a Wine God.
2018 became a wonderful year in the sense of LOVE and CHANGE. And humility paid out. In August 2018 I signed the contract for my corporate job which offers me enough space for my personal life. My Kids decided in October 2018 to go their own way and rented an apartment together downtown of Zurich. I can say I gave them the wings to fly and yes, it was a change, but a change for the good. I knew they are well prepared for life and that there was something big showing up for me soon. Gut feelings – how I love them. In December 2018 – one year ago I left my beloved home and moved to the other side of Zurich – with not one single regret.
Let’s hop straight into the month of June 2019 somehow my true heart beat starts here when it comes to business;
JOINING SOMBA “Thank you for joining SOMBA The Online MBA for female entrepreneurs – We received your payment. You can now watch all videos and download all worksheets. Please join our member Facebook group and introduce yourself”. Investment 3K
Oooukay. WOOOHOOOOO. Online Business here I am. I had sincerely no clue. They were talking about so many weird stuff.
But this feeling, I did something BIG, kept me going!
We had to prepare a free online course. I thought, well Michelle, com on, you always wanted to be a life coach, so this is your chance. I prepared step by step the course, I think I changed my website at least 3 times in one week and still did not fully understood what I did, but I loved it and mostly, I loved community where I was in. “Trust the process” the mantra of our community and, well, hell yes, I invested a nice portion of my money so let’s trust this damn process.
MY FIRST ONLINE SESSION – what a rollercoaster
It took me 43 minutes to finally and properly talk to my audience about my topic and while I am tipping this, I have a big smile in my face – because this was and still is so embarrassing. Messages came in on my I phone telling me; “we can hear you” on the other hand I have seen myself in my Facebook group LIVE, without tone and then there was this ZOOM APP where I have seen all my participants, thank god they where not more than 20…I clicked around, switched screens, laughed, I was sweating and talking at the same time – still trying to come up with some content and still wanted to impress my audience. I did, but not in the way I supposed to – but nevertheless – you never fail, you just learn, and I learned. A lot and even though it was a disaster my mentor always kept telling us – if I can do it – You can do it.
“Mum, the best thing you can do is to invest in yourself”. Sven, 23, my son.
THE REAL INVESTMENT – what an epic decision.
Got the hint. This celebration call from SombaSummerschool sucked me in again. I was paralyzed and could not stop watching, posting and celebrating “online” – with people I never met, with women I never talked about life or similar stuff, but where I ABSOLUTELY felt connected and well, yeah some kind I honestly liked them more than other people I met in real life, because we are aiming for the same….and if I would have told this to someone – they would highly recommend changing the wine label I drink or at least the amount of it. We celebrated Lena Küssner with her amazing summerschool results.
Somba made me realize, investing in yourself is important and something I understood and supported, but only when it came to others, not for myself. My heartbeat went crazy. My inner voice told me “You can’t do this again” another 7K investment for Momentum – are you nuts?!
They see me!
Another 7K of investment to become a MOMENTUM MEMBER
My first Momentum Sprint; the 5 day challenge. Let’s do it. Give it a try. How? No clue. Facebook Ads – hmmm..I dared to go into different Facebook groups and started to comment, like and share some random stuff.
20 subscribes. That’s all – seriousely that’s it?
Come on – no risk no fun. And here it came. This one big hint. One member in a interior design facebook group asked; if she was the only untalented woman who struggled with decoration. I immediately jumped on her post and answered; “No, of course not, if you want to be a part of my free 5-day challenge where you can learn what decoration is all about – click here.” – BAM!!
The next morning 178 subscribers where on my list. My coffee mug nearly fell out of my hands. Pure excitement. I could not believe what was going on. It was magical.
There must be some potential, when it comes to interior design or how I call it; when it comes to transforming homes into castles.
My claim and idea were born. As simple as that. How many white blank papers I filled with ideas and claims. Unbelievable if you stop searching how things fall in place.
Unbelievable how the flow starts to flow once you trust the process.
To be honest I had my doubts – and still have them sometimes. But deep down my gut feeling tells me every day, stay persistent and keep you believes – it will work out. I already made the experience how to pull a goal into my life.
So, there is no doubt, I will achieve my goals. My life goals. Martin Uetz, told me; put a date on your dreams, everything else is logistics.
The golden month in the year, and we had the SigrunLiveEvent in Zurich. I could not believe to meet my buddy in real and my mastermind ladies at the same moment.
My Buddy Kasia Krasuzchka from Poland lives in Denmark / Copenhagen and was the reason I joined SOMBA. She just is endlessly motivating, and I felt immediately connected to her. We had many talks, many chats and many zoom meetings where I followed her advices and her journey.
She was this connection puzzles between so many things as she is a one year a head of me and a decade younger than myself.
After one year in SOMBA she was able to buy herself a house. The day she came up with this news, I knew even more, the path I choose was simply the right one. Since joining SOMBA I found a community where dreams become reality.
Lost in translation. Overwhelmed. In Momentum we were aiming for an automation process: guess what I thought: Com’on Michelle, let’s do this. I came up with a idea. Something not known in Europe. Never executed in online business.
My brilliant idea was just not inline with my corporate job. There were some projects were I had to prioritize. Nevertheless – I started to prepare and it will be a project in the new year. Selling your home by yourself – online guided. I love the idea. November was the month were I had to stand up once more for myself. For my ideas. For my life and business – and how I communicate. Not everyones cup of tea. Well – that’s how it is sometimes. I learned once more – if you do what you love and if you are commited to your true self and your inner being – nothing can stop you.
I’ve been seen. Once more. One post showed me the thruth.
Facts and Figures
Total Investment in 2019 = 12K
Facebook Ads 0,8K
Investment for online tools 1K
Goals & Outlook 2020
- 1:1 projects to turn homes into castles
- support women to gain more selfesteem when it comes to interior design
- coming up with my brand new course SIY – Sell -it – Yourself
- not listening to others opinion @all
- being a guest at the selfmade summit in June 2020 with my whole family in Rejikavik, Iceland
- being on stage of TedX Zurich, Women
If you want to know more about SOMBA click here and join us in our exclusiv community where women support women!
See you in 2020
Michelle from PetitBox