Such a pleasure to meet so often – since you are trying to become independent.
I took over the stearing wheel of your life since you moved out from home – remember ?!
You were not capable to manage your finances.
You and your parents always loved me and I could just say „booooh“ and you were jumping up the ceiling.
I’ve got you since many years.
You never had a lot of money and I’ll make sure this will stay.
I keep you under my control even though you are evolving, having breakthroughs and trying to change your mindset and the most funny part is you are seriousely mapping out the road for success for your next chapter of life.
But you forgott your family patterns and where you are coming from.
You arent the one who will be famous, successful and definitely not the one who will be rich!
Rich, you ? – financially independet ? hahhahaa…LOL for sure not.
Remember; its me – your FEAR and I am the one who keeps the control – and you know what ?
Until today, I did everything to keep up with this and no one in your entire family ever achieved to change me. And its not gonna be you.
Are you seriousely trying to get rid of me ? Fu…ck off.
Some advices – and yeah keep on trying.
I have so many ways to keep you under my control – even though you tried many things like; leaving your husband with a 2 and 5 year old, then the divorce from which you had to start working while raising two children by yourself. I really succeeded when I kept back your salary so you had to get 3 jobs at the same time to pay back all your depts and I made sure you do not have more holidays than a week per year for more than 3 years…I even thought giving you this hearing loss and heart breaks I would keep you away from starting to evolve.
But no you are such a strong little bitch – you even started this ridiculous things like mindset change, then started out watching things like „the secret“ and you listen to Oprah Winfrey, Jim Fortin, James Wedmore, Denise Dufflield-Thomas – and now you are in this Sigrun – Somba scene ?!
You even gave up on your relation with your father, sister and aunt – this is not appropriate and now your corp. job is hunting you down because they do not preform ? I like it because I know how to keep you under my control.
I will make sure you keep on sacrificing even more beloved ones – and I make sure you will.
I have to admit you are such pain in the ass….because you do not stop taking action and you are still trying to get rid of me.
You are gonna regret the day I will leave – but I am convinced I will win this fight – so I thought I come up with my biggest power.
YOUR ISSUE OF NOT BEING ENOUGH.
Do not get me wrong;
I just want the best for you and therefore I make sure you stay in your comfy zone because this was and is the best way to keep you under my control.
Here are some typical reasons why people tend to keep stuff they do not need!
FEAR OF NOT HAVING THINGS THEY NEED WHEN THEY NEED THEM.
Many people who grew up having very little and having to struggle for everything they did have can result in the subconscious need for people to save things that may be used or re-purposed later.
Even if those people later become successful, the worry of doing without may still make them keep things that to other people may seem worthless or unnecessary.
This mindset can then be passed down from generation to generation. Most of us know someone who has a drawer full of rubber bands, or three or four blenders or too many knives in their kitchen drawers.
THE BELIEF THAT YOU WILL HAVE TIME TO USE SOME THINGS LATER
If you know someone who typically hoards one type of thing, such as 20 years worth of magazines, or those clothes in their closet that they have outgrown, then it may be due to their belief that eventually things will slow down and they will have time to catch up on reading those magazines, or will lose weight and be able to wear those outfits again.
Some people keep broken items because they fully plan on using them later, but the later never comes.
TOO MANY COLLECTIONS
Some of you start out finding something they like (such as a doll collection, spoons, or train sets) and then their interests change and they decide to collect something else, but they can’t bear to part with their old collections they spent so much time to amass.
There are many other reasons as well, but the three reasons above will give you some idea, why some people’s homes become clutter with items that are unnecessary, useless, or broken.
Understanding how things accumulate will help you to rid yourself of the clutter and change your behavior.
Sometimes it’s just frustrating and annoying to declutter for others and restart again and again.
Book a discovery call and find out how to get things done once for all.
I started this path long before I knew for what, who and why.
In 2016 ( I just looked up the first invoivce from wordpress ) I started to create my first website. To be honest, I can’t count the changes I made, even though wordpress stores each change and you could, if you want go back to all pages you created. WordPress was the program I liked the most. No worries, this blog post is not about wordpress.
I had many business ideas, many plans, many unreaslistic and realistic business plans. I had ideas like giving seminars with the whoo-hoo candle and dried roses in the middles of a circle build out of chairs and walk around with some smoked sage to find the purpose of your life. Today I could do some sage cleaning whoo-hoo for some rooms, who need a clear athmosephère – if my client, the energies and the believes are on a certain level.
Gosh I tried many things out. And if I tell you many, I mean many. Maybe I should write more likely that I was searching for my purpose of life. My domains names switched from PetitSoulBox, PetitHomeBox, PetitDanceBox and so on…
The look of my websites jumped from clean, funny, spiritual, playful or classy look. I printed and bought flyers here, business cards there.
I even founded a real estate company with a french/ english name, what no one understands. Okay I have to admit, we sold houses and apartments: so far so good. And sonce SOMBA there is a plan to merge it with petitbox – a matter of time.
But apart of this, no other plan sucked me in – nor worked out. I pondered around. Watched youtube videos, listend to podcast and read books.
Until the day in June 2019 where I worked on a excel list and listend to a masterclass from Sigrun. The founder of SOMBA.
These 4 hours of masterclass where life changing – How I got there you can read here.
In the past days I realized in my past I never ever listend REALLY to my own gut feeling on a honest, strong and aware way. It literally hit me while I was driving 5 hours in my car for my corp. job.
I never was as free in my mind and in my decisions in my whole life.
Since a couple of month I stopped listening to all the chatter boxes around me and started to focus completely on myself and on my business. And as you probably know, whatever you focus on, you get more of.
I decided to love money, wealth and health. I stopped spending money on things which I do not use, need and really want, I started to love the fact of having a certain amount of money in my bank account instead of being ashamed and fearful to loose it and I started to stop eating meat and consuming any cowl milk products.
„Oh you on the vegan trip aswell“ –> Nope, I just love animals more than humans.
„Oh you like Greta Thunberg“ –> Yes, she is determined in what she is doing and somehow I like her, she is an action taker, the world needs us.
„Oh without meat you have to get some additional dietary supplements“ –> Bullshit. Sorry.
„Oh well a bit milk is still for bones“ –> Bullshit II
„Oh you do online business – do you really earn money?“ –> Ehm, well yes some people like my Mentor became a millionaire after 6 years….
________________________________________________
Investing in myself ( moneywise 12K ) brougth me the life I was seeking for and
I found my purpose
I turn homes into castles.
By only walking through the city and looking into windows where I see part of interior and how people are furnished gives me goosebumps, I am in the middle of my life and just started to create the life my mother wished for. I know she could not live the life she dreamed of, even though she has two wonderful daughters and three unbelievable grand children she loved more than anything. She was afraid to hurt others, while she would do, decide or take what was needed to become a profound happy person. She gave her life to her daughters and grandchildren and she did everything what was in her power to make us happy.
Through her story I had the chance to realise how priceless life is. I am endlessly grateful for the chance to become the person and believer I am today.
I would like to encourage YOU to truly listen to your heart and to your gut feeling. We only have this one and only life on this wonderful planet and we are all meant to be happy, full of love and fulfilled with pure happiness.
I am this red hair power woman who has this unique action taking attitude – I often hear this – and somehow it must be true even though it makes me feel embarassed, as I have my issues with compliments. Taking action is for sure something which makes me unique – it’s nothing I have to force myself and it’s something I love. I rarley hesistate if rooms or spaces need a change.
„Hestiation is never a good guide – as it keeps us away of trying things out.“
Among taking action and change, there is still space for strucutre and fun when I am involved in a project. Often, the fun part brings back the motivation when challenges show up in a tricky room.
What makes me 😉 outstanding from the big crowd of interior designer ?
This could sound like fishing for compliments – but after the workshop I did with my mentor Sigrun, yesterday, I came to the conclusion that;
I am definitely an immediate action and got this unique hands-on attitude.
My way of thinking when it comes to interior design is sustainable; as I am considering all items, all furnitures and all decoration supplies before investing in buying new stuff.
The goal is always to create the best possible ambiance with existing items & furnitures.
People tell me often they feel heard and seen with my empathic and motivating attitude while I am striving to create the cosy@home feeling, though the change and fun during process is done quickly.
Often there is no need to buy new things – because all exiting items can be reused or just used in a different way or place.
In a blink of an eye, I can tell if a room feels like home and cosy and what’s needed for a change.
The main reason WHY i founded PetitBox was the based on the fact that interior designer are often driven through self-fulfillment and their own ideas how a room, a space or decoration must be.
In the world of PetitBox the focus is clearly by creating a home as it’s much more than just decorationg or building new walls. Pinterest and Interior architects can give us hints and nice ideas – which in the other hand leads to overwhelming and self-doubting.
Interior Design is a bold expression used in many ways and often mispresented when it comes to homes and spaces.
Instead of playing the game „Cold, colder, uuuh freezing or the other way around, warm, warmer, aaah hot“ – Interior Designer create a home, a space, a room without implementing beloved items, enheritaged pieces or personal styles and confront their client with a finished product.
My conclusion and an other reason WHY i founded PetitBox was interior design and pinterest pictures arent‘ everyones cup of tea and not everyone wants and needs to rebuild their houses / apartments with expensive brands and labels.
Most people I got to know along the way want to be involved in creating their UNIQUE feeling of being at home as an individual with all their items and furnitures they like. They want to create a cosy home with the stuff and furnitures – but the HOW TO CREATE PROCESS is missing.
Therefore I founded my little PetitBox where I walk my clients through the process.
The Webinar next Monday 20th of January is the perfect place to have a sneek peek of how Michelle from PetitBox is working!
I became seen and the woman whom I really are, bold, daring and curious
Before we went off for some holidays in Italy, Bogogno – where for the first time I played Golf for one week – I checked some youtube videos. Reminder videos like; what you have to pay attention, how to let go of your distructive mindset, how you get your thoughts out of your way and just play without thinking too much…and suddenly this little ball flies high and some times even straight forward.
Not that straight forward was my decision when I received the job offer for a CEO position. It was a rollercoaster, gosh. I couldn’t make up my mind. Should I go for a very good salary – or – a 3k investment for a new business ? For a new online business. My own business. After invested 2k in becoming a psychology therapist in the beginning of the year I thought this was it. I finally declined the job offer and invested in myself.
I got stucked on to the free Masterclass and I don’t remember why – but I did. I should have worked on something else, but this woman catched my attention for literally more than 4 hours. I checked on her Sigrun Gudjonsdottir, from Iceland, based in Zurich. A role model, leader and online business entrepreneur who understands how to brng the best out of you and helps women grow their online business faster and with long-term success.
Listening to women who succeeded in online business made me wonder, curious and at the same time I felt jealous. And on top I was sceptical; „aha….that’s how successful online business female look like…“
I did not believe them and decided for my own inner peace to switch off. My lizard brain became active as never before; it whispered; „you do not have money to invest“ – „and anyway it’s to good to be true“ – „and success is for other’s definitely not for you“ – and the one I carried since my childhood; „who are you – to be seen“
And then, there were these arguments and hints between the lines, from people I admire, love and care. Arguments like; „your way of writing, posting and behaving is unprofessional“. It stopped me for a while, in the meantime, my son, send me some podcast links and I started to listen to Gary Vee, he made me believe in myself again.
The free Masterclass in June 2019 drove me nuts. There was this feeling of finally being able to do what I love to do. Transforming homes into castles. I was seeking for this my lifetime. I watched the review of the masterclass and checked all testimonials, read them forward and backward, checked on the women, scrolled through their webpages, watched again and rechecked everything.
2019 changed my world completely, even though I knew from my own experience that there is no master’s degree or bachelor needed to be in a leading job position – I still had the believe, online business is trash. People who are gaining money through this online business stuff aren’t for real.
SOMBA led me to overthink my believes “you become a millionaire through online business“, overnight. Seriously, I believed this. Somba changed me as a woman and my believes for the better.
The start into the online business world changed my entire life. From insight out. I believed I knew where I was going. I have to admit; I did not had a clue, no plan and for sure no structure to build up my own business. I went through a big inner process, I learned during these 6 months more then in my last 10 years in business and life. Overcoming jealousy and wrong believes was hard, on the other hand I experienced true friendship, tremendous support and the most encouraging community.
I denied my true self for decades. Starting my online business opened up a new world. Even though I did not understand how this worked. It drove me nuts. Freebie, Landing Page, Activ Campaign, Mail Chimp, List Building, Divi, Webinar, MasterClass, Summit….name it. I seriousely did not had a clue what they were talking about.
I booked a call with Sigrun’s Team. Whatever it takes – my decision was clear. I want to be one of these entrepreneurs. Beside my Kids & my Life Partner this was the BEST choice I ever made.
This blog post should be about looking back on 2019 – but I would love to invite you to go back a little further so you understand why 2019 made me seen myself and the people around in a different light.
As first born, mostly unwanted child, I had the strong need to be seen. Instead of being a boy, obviousely I am a girl – a woman today and my childhood was quiet okay, my parents did what they could. Still, I never had the feeling to be seen, to been appreciated for what and who I am. At 22 I married and thought this is the way of being seen. Our marriage failed after 8 years and we separated. Not only because I had the feeling I wasn’t seen, there were several other reasons of course, which had impact as well.
After my separation I started to slowly focus on my career, beside my two young children and the burden to ensure enough income. Beside my regular job I worked as a cleaner, took care of an elder couple, worked as a bar tender, as a salsa dancing teacher, sold houses and apartments and never stopped watching out for opportunities.
Many different jobs are listed on my CV – but I never found what I was looking for. Never had the complete breakthrough – never had this feeling of being fulfilled even though I got a great job as a Sales Director in furniture business.
In January 2015 I was determined like never before and hired 4 new people; our goal: to double the turnover and strive for success – no matter what it takes.
After 3 years, with no holidays, and 12-14 hours daily work, a lot of internal & personal pressure, challenges and changes, I experienced a hearing loss. Caused by high blood pressure I was sleeping max. 3 h per night.
The one important question I asked myself during this time of my life was; „is this the place where I am supposed to be?“ Definitely not.
During my recovery I received the termination letter. I couldn’t believe it. What was going on?!
There it was again, the feeling of not being good enough, not seen.
More than 6 months without income, horrible personal and emotional fights and close to hundred lawyer appointments – I was clear on winning the trial. And I did. In January 2018 it was over.
The hardest part, wasn’t even to pull them into court – the hardest part after so many years, of work, input and engagement, I was “deleted” from one day to the another – as simple as that.
I had the choice continuing with regrets, bad thinking, being angry, sad and desperate.
If you know me, you know, this would not be an option. I choose humility and strived for happiness. The best way to turn things around.
I stepped back. Back from everything. I was used to it from my former life and did not had any issues with it. I focused on myself again, started to figure out what I was seeking for. During these months I did some inner work and watched out for some changes.
March 2018 this Mother Day-Promotion where my Kids thought they would do me a favour by sending me a link for a dating platform (PARSHIP) who offered 50% off – „for desperate Mom’s who are aiming for real love“ I signed up – just for fun. I did not expected anything.
Okay, well I started a profile, added some pictures of myself and my dogs, clicked enter and off it went. A few hours later I came back and had to open some Pinot Grigio – literally 200 Emails with a message from the platform host “Your Inbox is full”.
After the 5th email I was done. Have I mentioned I didn’t answered all these funny & silly questions to complete the profile in an appropriated way. Most of the questions I didn’t took serious at all.
Ha! Here we go. His pictures showed a loving, warm hearted and happy person and we started to send messages forward and backward. After a couple of weeks, we finally met and since this day we both know, it is this one of a kind relationships.
Handsome. Good looking, Italian Men, Sporty Football Coach, Handicap 19, best Carbonara Cook and a Wine God.
2018 became a wonderful year in the sense of LOVE and CHANGE. And humility paid out. In August 2018 I signed the contract for my corporate job which offers me enough space for my personal life. My Kids decided in October 2018 to go their own way and rented an apartment together downtown of Zurich. I can say I gave them the wings to fly and yes, it was a change, but a change for the good. I knew they are well prepared for life and that there was something big showing up for me soon. Gut feelings – how I love them. In December 2018 – one year ago I left my beloved home and moved to the other side of Zurich – with not one single regret.
Let’s hop straight into the month of June 2019 somehow my true heart beat starts here when it comes to business;
JOINING SOMBA “Thank you for joining SOMBA The Online MBA for female entrepreneurs – We received your payment. You can now watch all videos and download all worksheets. Please join our member Facebook group and introduce yourself”. Investment 3K
Oooukay. WOOOHOOOOO. Online Business here I am. I had sincerely no clue. They were talking about so many weird stuff.
But this feeling, I did something BIG, kept me going!
We had to prepare a free online course. I thought, well Michelle, com on, you always wanted to be a life coach, so this is your chance. I prepared step by step the course, I think I changed my website at least 3 times in one week and still did not fully understood what I did, but I loved it and mostly, I loved community where I was in. “Trust the process” the mantra of our community and, well, hell yes, I invested a nice portion of my money so let’s trust this damn process.
MY FIRST ONLINE SESSION – what a rollercoaster
It took me 43 minutes to finally and properly talk to my audience about my topic and while I am tipping this, I have a big smile in my face – because this was and still is so embarrassing. Messages came in on my I phone telling me; “we can hear you” on the other hand I have seen myself in my Facebook group LIVE, without tone and then there was this ZOOM APP where I have seen all my participants, thank god they where not more than 20…I clicked around, switched screens, laughed, I was sweating and talking at the same time – still trying to come up with some content and still wanted to impress my audience. I did, but not in the way I supposed to – but nevertheless – you never fail, you just learn, and I learned. A lot and even though it was a disaster my mentor always kept telling us – if I can do it – You can do it.
“Mum, the best thing you can do is to invest in yourself”. Sven, 23, my son.
THE REAL INVESTMENT – what an epic decision.
Got the hint. This celebration call from SombaSummerschool sucked me in again. I was paralyzed and could not stop watching, posting and celebrating “online” – with people I never met, with women I never talked about life or similar stuff, but where I ABSOLUTELY felt connected and well, yeah some kind I honestly liked them more than other people I met in real life, because we are aiming for the same….and if I would have told this to someone – they would highly recommend changing the wine label I drink or at least the amount of it. We celebrated Lena Küssner with her amazing summerschool results.
Somba made me realize, investing in yourself is important and something I understood and supported, but only when it came to others, not for myself. My heartbeat went crazy. My inner voice told me „You can’t do this again“ another 7K investment for Momentum – are you nuts?!
Another talk with Martin Uetz and it was clear…. if you do not do it now – you will never do anything else different than your parents and you will not change the family patterns.
They see me!
Another 7K of investment to become a MOMENTUM MEMBER
My first Momentum Sprint; the 5 day challenge. Let’s do it. Give it a try. How? No clue. Facebook Ads – hmmm..I dared to go into different Facebook groups and started to comment, like and share some random stuff.
20 subscribes. That’s all – seriousely that’s it?
Come on – no risk no fun. And here it came. This one big hint. One member in a interior design facebook group asked; if she was the only untalented woman who struggled with decoration. I immediately jumped on her post and answered; “No, of course not, if you want to be a part of my free 5-day challenge where you can learn what decoration is all about – click here.” – BAM!!
The next morning 178 subscribers where on my list. My coffee mug nearly fell out of my hands. Pure excitement. I could not believe what was going on. It was magical.
There must be some potential, when it comes to interior design or how I call it; when it comes to transforming homes into castles.
My claim and idea were born. As simple as that. How many white blank papers I filled with ideas and claims. Unbelievable if you stop searching how things fall in place.
Unbelievable how the flow starts to flow once you trust the process.
To be honest I had my doubts – and still have them sometimes. But deep down my gut feeling tells me every day, stay persistent and keep you believes – it will work out. I already made the experience how to pull a goal into my life.
So, there is no doubt, I will achieve my goals. My life goals. Martin Uetz, told me; put a date on your dreams, everything else is logistics.
October 2019
The golden month in the year, and we had the SigrunLiveEvent in Zurich. I could not believe to meet my buddy in real and my mastermind ladies at the same moment.
My Buddy Kasia Krasuzchka from Poland lives in Denmark / Copenhagen and was the reason I joined SOMBA. She just is endlessly motivating, and I felt immediately connected to her. We had many talks, many chats and many zoom meetings where I followed her advices and her journey.
She was this connection puzzles between so many things as she is a one year a head of me and a decade younger than myself.
After one year in SOMBA she was able to buy herself a house. The day she came up with this news, I knew even more, the path I choose was simply the right one. Since joining SOMBA I found a community where dreams become reality.
November 2019
Lost in translation. Overwhelmed. In Momentum we were aiming for an automation process: guess what I thought: Com’on Michelle, let’s do this. I came up with a idea. Something not known in Europe. Never executed in online business.
My brilliant idea was just not inline with my corporate job. There were some projects were I had to prioritize. Nevertheless – I started to prepare and it will be a project in the new year. Selling your home by yourself – online guided. I love the idea. November was the month were I had to stand up once more for myself. For my ideas. For my life and business – and how I communicate. Not everyones cup of tea. Well – that’s how it is sometimes. I learned once more – if you do what you love and if you are commited to your true self and your inner being – nothing can stop you.
I’ve been seen. Once more. One post showed me the thruth.
Facts and Figures
Total Investment in 2019 = 12K
Facebook Ads 0,8K
Investment for online tools 1K
Turnover 5K
Goals & Outlook 2020
1:1 projects to turn homes into castles
support women to gain more selfesteem when it comes to interior design
coming up with my brand new course SIY – Sell -it – Yourself
not listening to others opinion @all
being a guest at the selfmade summit in June 2020 with my whole family in Rejikavik, Iceland
I became seen and the woman who I really are, bold, daring and curious
Before we went off for some holidays in Italy, Bogogno – where for the first time I played Golf for one week – I checked some youtube videos. Reminder videos like; what you have to pay attention, how to let go of your distructive mindset, how you get your thoughts out of your way and just play without thinking too much…and suddenly this little ball flies high and some times even straight forward.
Not that straight forward was my decision when I received the job offer for a CEO position. It was a rollercoaster, gosh. I couldn’t make up my mind. Should I go for a very good salary – or – a 3k investment for a new business ? For a new online business. My own business. After invested 2k in becoming a psychology therapist in the beginning of the year I thought this was it. I finally declined the job offer and invested in myself.
I got stucked on to the free Masterclass and I don’t remember why – but I did. I should have worked on something else, but this woman catched my attention for literally more than 4 hours. I checked on her Sigrun Gudjonsdottir, from Iceland, based in Zurich. A role model, leader and online business entrepreneur who understands how to brng the best out of you and helps women grow their online business faster and with long-term success.
Listening to women who succeeded in online business made me wonder, curious and at the same time I felt jealous. And on top I was sceptical; „aha….that’s how successful online business female look like…“
I did not believe them and decided for my own inner peace to switch off. My lizard brain became active as never before; it whispered; „you do not have money to invest“ – „and anyway it’s to good to be true“ – „and success is for other’s definitely not for you“ – and the one I carried since my childhood; „who are you – to be seen“
And then, there were these arguments and hints between the lines, from people I admire, love and care. Arguments like; „your way of writing, posting and behaving is unprofessional“. It stopped me for a while, in the meantime, my son, send me some podcast links and I started to listen to Gary Vee, he made me believe in myself again.
The free Masterclass in June 2019 drove me nuts. There was this feeling of finally being able to do what I love to do. Transforming homes into castles. I was seeking for this my lifetime. I watched the review of the masterclass and checked all testimonials, read them forward and backward, checked on the women, scrolled through their webpages, watched again and rechecked everything.
2019 changed my world completely, even though I knew from my own experience that there is no master’s degree or bachelor needed to be in a leading job position – I still had the believe, online business is trash. People who are gaining money through this online business stuff aren’t for real.
SOMBA led me to overthink my believes “you become a millionaire through online business“, overnight. Seriously, I believed this. Somba changed me as a woman and my believes for the better.
The start into the online business world changed my entire life. From insight out. I believed I knew where I was going. I have to admit; I did not had a clue, no plan and for sure no structure to build up my own business. I went through a big inner process, I learned during these 6 months more then in my last 10 years in business and life. Overcoming jealousy and wrong believes was hard, on the other hand I experienced true friendship, tremendous support and the most encouraging community.
I denied my true self for decades. Starting my online business opened up a new world. Even though I did not understand how this worked. It drove me nuts. Freebie, Landing Page, Activ Campaign, Mail Chimp, List Building, Divi, Webinar, MasterClass, Summit….name it. I seriousely did not had a clue what they were talking about.
I booked a call with Sigrun’s Team. Whatever it takes – my decision was clear. I want to be one of these entrepreneurs. Beside my Kids & my Life Partner this was the BEST choice I ever made.
This blog post should be about looking back on 2019 – but I would love to invite you to go back a little further so you understand why 2019 made me seen myself and the people around in a different light.
As first born, mostly unwanted child, I had the strong need to be seen. Instead of being a boy, obviousely I am a girl – a woman today and my childhood was quiet okay, my parents did what they could. Still, I never had the feeling to be seen, to been appreciated for what and who I am. At 22 I married and thought this is the way of being seen. Our marriage failed after 8 years and we separated. Not only because I had the feeling I wasn’t seen, there were several other reasons of course, which had impact as well.
After my separation I started to slowly focus on my career, beside my two young children and the burden to ensure enough income. Beside my regular job I worked as a cleaner, took care of an elder couple, worked as a bar tender, as a salsa dancing teacher, sold houses and apartments and never stopped watching out for opportunities.
Many different jobs are listed on my CV – but I never found what I was looking for. Never had the complete breakthrough – never had this feeling of being fulfilled even though I got a great job as a Sales Director in furniture business.
In January 2015 I was determined like never before and hired 4 new people; our goal: to double the turnover and strive for success – no matter what it takes.
After 3 years, with no holidays, and 12-14 hours daily work, a lot of internal & personal pressure, challenges and changes, I experienced a hearing loss. Caused by high blood pressure I was sleeping max. 3 h per night.
The one important question I asked myself during this time of my life was; „is this the place where I am supposed to be?“ Definitely not.
During my recovery I received the termination letter. I couldn’t believe it. What was going on?!
There it was again, the feeling of not being good enough, not seen.
More than 6 months without income, horrible personal and emotional fights and close to hundred lawyer appointments – I was clear on winning the trial. And I did. In January 2018 it was over.
The hardest part, wasn’t even to pull them into court – the hardest part after so many years, of work, input and engagement, I was “deleted” from one day to the another – as simple as that.
I had the choice continuing with regrets, bad thinking, being angry, sad and desperate.
If you know me, you know, this would not be an option. I choose humility and strived for happiness. The best way to turn things around.
I stepped back. Back from everything. I was used to it from my former life and did not had any issues with it. I focused on myself again, started to figure out what I was seeking for. During these months I did some inner work and watched out for some changes.
March 2018 this Mother Day-Promotion where my Kids thought they would do me a favour by sending me a link for a dating platform (PARSHIP) who offered 50% off – „for desperate Mom’s who are aiming for real love“ I signed up – just for fun. I did not expected anything.
Okay, well I started a profile, added some pictures of myself and my dogs, clicked enter and off it went. A few hours later I came back and had to open some Pinot Grigio – literally 200 Emails with a message from the platform host “Your Inbox is full”.
After the 5th email I was done. Have I mentioned I didn’t answered all these funny & silly questions to complete the profile in an appropriated way. Most of the questions I didn’t took serious at all.
Ha! Here we go. His pictures showed a loving, warm hearted and happy person and we started to send messages forward and backward. After a couple of weeks, we finally met and since this day we both know, it is this one of a kind relationships.
Handsome. Good looking, Italian Men, Sporty Football Coach, Handicap 19, best Carbonara Cook and a Wine God.
2018 became a wonderful year in the sense of LOVE and CHANGE. And humility paid out. In August 2018 I signed the contract for my corporate job which offers me enough space for my personal life. My Kids decided in October 2018 to go their own way and rented an apartment together downtown of Zurich. I can say I gave them the wings to fly and yes, it was a change, but a change for the good. I knew they are well prepared for life and that there was something big showing up for me soon. Gut feelings – how I love them. In December 2018 – one year ago I left my beloved home and moved to the other side of Zurich – with not one single regret.
Let’s hop straight into the month of June 2019 somehow my true heart beat starts here when it comes to business;
JOINING SOMBA “Thank you for joining SOMBA The Online MBA for female entrepreneurs – We received your payment. You can now watch all videos and download all worksheets. Please join our member Facebook group and introduce yourself”. Investment 3K
Oooukay. WOOOHOOOOO. Online Business here I am. I had sincerely no clue. They were talking about so many weird stuff.
But this feeling, I did something BIG, kept me going!
We had to prepare a free online course. I thought, well Michelle, com on, you always wanted to be a life coach, so this is your chance. I prepared step by step the course, I think I changed my website at least 3 times in one week and still did not fully understood what I did, but I loved it and mostly, I loved community where I was in. “Trust the process” the mantra of our community and, well, hell yes, I invested a nice portion of my money so let’s trust this damn process.
MY FIRST ONLINE SESSION – what a rollercoaster
It took me 43 minutes to finally and properly talk to my audience about my topic and while I am tipping this, I have a big smile in my face – because this was and still is so embarrassing. Messages came in on my I phone telling me; “we can hear you” on the other hand I have seen myself in my Facebook group LIVE, without tone and then there was this ZOOM APP where I have seen all my participants, thank god they where not more than 20…I clicked around, switched screens, laughed, I was sweating and talking at the same time – still trying to come up with some content and still wanted to impress my audience. I did, but not in the way I supposed to – but nevertheless – you never fail, you just learn, and I learned. A lot and even though it was a disaster my mentor always kept telling us – if I can do it – You can do it.
“Mum, the best thing you can do is to invest in yourself”. Sven, 23, my son.
THE REAL INVESTMENT – what an epic decision.
Got the hint. This celebration call from SombaSummerschool sucked me in again. I was paralyzed and could not stop watching, posting and celebrating “online” – with people I never met, with women I never talked about life or similar stuff, but where I ABSOLUTELY felt connected and well, yeah some kind I honestly liked them more than other people I met in real life, because we are aiming for the same….and if I would have told this to someone – they would highly recommend changing the wine label I drink or at least the amount of it. We celebrated Lena Küssner with her amazing summerschool results.
Somba made me realize, investing in yourself is important and something I understood and supported, but only when it came to others, not for myself. My heartbeat went crazy. My inner voice told me „You can’t do this again“ another 7K investment for Momentum – are you nuts?!
Another talk with Martin Uetz and it was clear…. if you do not do it now – you will never do anything else different than your parents and you will not change the family patterns.
They see me!
Another 7K of investment to become a MOMENTUM MEMBER
My first Momentum Sprint; the 5 day challenge. Let’s do it. Give it a try. How? No clue. Facebook Ads – hmmm..I dared to go into different Facebook groups and started to comment, like and share some random stuff.
20 subscribes. That’s all – seriousely that’s it?
Come on – no risk no fun. And here it came. This one big hint. One member in a interior design facebook group asked; if she was the only untalented woman who struggled with decoration. I immediately jumped on her post and answered; “No, of course not, if you want to be a part of my free 5-day challenge where you can learn what decoration is all about – click here.” – BAM!!
The next morning 178 subscribers where on my list. My coffee mug nearly fell out of my hands. Pure excitement. I could not believe what was going on. It was magical.
There must be some potential, when it comes to interior design or how I call it; when it comes to transforming homes into castles.
My claim and idea were born. As simple as that. How many white blank papers I filled with ideas and claims. Unbelievable if you stop searching how things fall in place.
Unbelievable how the flow starts to flow once you trust the process.
To be honest I had my doubts – and still have them sometimes. But deep down my gut feeling tells me every day, stay persistent and keep you believes – it will work out. I already made the experience how to pull a goal into my life.
So, there is no doubt, I will achieve my goals. My life goals. Martin Uetz, told me; put a date on your dreams, everything else is logistics.
October 2019
The golden month in the year, and we had the SigrunLiveEvent in Zurich. I could not believe to meet my buddy in real and my mastermind ladies at the same moment.
My Buddy Kasia Krasuzchka from Poland lives in Denmark / Copenhagen and was the reason I joined SOMBA. She just is endlessly motivating, and I felt immediately connected to her. We had many talks, many chats and many zoom meetings where I followed her advices and her journey.
She was this connection puzzles between so many things as she is a one year a head of me and a decade younger than myself.
After one year in SOMBA she was able to buy herself a house. The day she came up with this news, I knew even more, the path I choose was simply the right one. Since joining SOMBA I found a community where dreams become reality.
November 2019
Lost in translation. Overwhelmed. In Momentum we were aiming for an automation process: guess what I thought: Com’on Michelle, let’s do this. I came up with a idea. Something not known in Europe. Never executed in online business.
My brilliant idea was just not inline with my corporate job. There were some projects were I had to prioritize. Nevertheless – I started to prepare and it will be a project in the new year. Selling your home by yourself – online guided. I love the idea. November was the month were I had to stand up once more for myself. For my ideas. For my life and business – and how I communicate. Not everyones cup of tea. Well – that’s how it is sometimes. I learned once more – if you do what you love and if you are commited to your true self and your inner being – nothing can stop you.
I’ve been seen. Once more. One post showed me the thruth.
Facts and Figures
Total Investment in 2019 = 12K
Facebook Ads 0,8K
Investment for online tools 1K
Turnover 5K
Goals & Outlook 2020
1:1 projects to turn homes into castles
support women to gain more selfesteem when it comes to interior design
coming up with my brand new course SIY – Sell -it – Yourself
not listening to others opinion @all
being a guest at the selfmade summit in June 2020 with my whole family in Rejikavik, Iceland
everyone who is not a 100% happy – including myself – is not doing something because of judgment of somebody else. not being a 100% happy was the key to leave my marriage – and yes, being unhappy was reason enough to leave. some said it was ego, others crazy and some others mentioned some other shit. actually ? I did not care and I still not do. I care the most about myself first. that’s egoistic ? hell it is and for some good reasons. how in the whole univers can you make your world around happy if you aren’t ? mission impossible. the day I left was my biggest breakthrough I took a step or even 3 backwards – I did not care – as I was happy from the insight out. I heard my heartbeat again.
having the ability stepping back, is the key to real happiness.
I was the cleaning woman years back, for many business ladies, I organized their house, their laundry and shopping. I took care of their dog, changed beds and made lunch. I also took care of elder couple once a week as she was sick, not able to take care about anything as the house was huge.
I never ever thought it was a shitty time or that I wasn’t worth it. I always knew, this builds my fundament to grow and to appreciate every and each single step toward my own vision week by week, month by month, year by year. If you have been there – literally nothing can break you and nothing can scare you. these years working as a housekeeper, next to my normal other official job, taking care of two children and trying to find out where my passion is hiding I learned to love myself and be grateful for my abilities to create a lot out of nothing.
stepping back is humility. it opens space for your strength and it leads to unconditional love.
striving for your own happiness is the best trip you can book in your life. direction one way!
stop caring what other think, go your own way, change your home, your job or your partner if it doesn’t make you sincerly happy and keep in mind if others start to attack you in one or another way it’s always a reflection of their own unhappiness.
life is too short to listen to other opinions. step back if you think you should turn around. step back, move into a smaller apartment. sell or donate your stuff and go for a weekend to verona instead.
declutter from the insight out is nothing else then stepping back and get rid of stuff which holds you back from doing whatever your heart beats for.
open up the shop you always wanted to have – if it doesn’t work out, at least you can say, you gave it a try.
start to write this book – if its not gonna be published you left a legacy anyway.
invite your neighbours and get to know them – who knows what they been through.
stepping back is nothing else then declutter your soul and will lead to the fulfillment of your heart trust me I’ve been there and I booked this trip!
Stepping back for me for many years in the past created the craft to communicate my vision to this wonderful world. laugh at me – I will smile back from the stage I am on – while talking about this post.
If you can’t get rid of an idea, Life tell’s you to do so… I can’t let go of one specific idea.
Beside of transforming homes into castles I want to become an author as well.
Since many years I started to write. Write down my story. Of course this sounds absolutely crazy – but one of my very close friends told me more than once;
hey Michelle, you should go viral with your blog posts. Okay….well maybe I should start them. One of my epic and most emotional stories I will share tonight only with you.
It is one of a kind story. A story, where you should get some tissues. I do not tipe this to attract more attention, but, I know, if you can relate to the story, it will touch or even hit you.
The waves of the ocean came in and the sand swalloed them. It was more or less 12 years ago. I was on the beach. My toes were covered by black sand, the sun downer in my hand, my mobile phone had 9% of battery. A few minutes later my stomach told me; „Michelle, this is serious and no good news“. I had to agree. No doubts. I felt aweful.
Breast cancer. At 55. My mom. Our mom.
She did everything for everyone.
She = happy, a beautiful woman from inside out, a person to love. Her life purpose ? Satisfaction. For everyone.
Everyone around her has to be happy, satisfaid and have eaten enough. Italian heritage…pizza and pasta for everyone.
Before she ever thought about herself, she thought about anyone around her.
She was the one of a kind. The one you would have wished for. All at once. A friend. A Mum. A loving wife.
… and the most wonderful grand mum you ever imagine.
Never ever she would have admitted her pain. Her mission was clear. Life has to be lived within happiness – whatever the price would be. She paid the highest price. Her life.
I know not everyone would agree on this post, unless her. She would have loved it. Or in my world; „she loves it, because she never really left. She just transformed into another space“.
3 weeks before she passed away I had the most wonderful and most honest and scareful talk with her. Covered by cozy warm covers beside a glass of italian white wine ( Pinot grigio, to be precise ) she was on her prefederd place on her hurrible red couch, where I asked her upfront about death and change in life.
I wanted to be clear as I knew there will be never another opportunity to ask her this question in this clear athmosphere.
Mummy, you rather prefer to die, then to change anything in your life – correct ?
Silence.
Tears.
She looked at me, took her glass.
Yes. I am afraid to change. I do not want to change anything as as I do not know what will be. I stick to the facts I see with my eyes.
*
As a first born, there were no words for a „correct“ reply.
She passed away three weeks later and she was upset. Dissapointed. Sad. She was not ready for this change into another „world“ and wasn’t ready to leave.
Her frustration was obvious. I open up the door into her hospital room and the first thing she told me; „this is absolutely not what I was looking for, this is shit. I will not make it, can you take care of everything please….
No one else got this message. Just me.
Anything else than a „YES of course“ would have been beyond.
*
Today I know why.
She would have loved my mission. I help other women to trust themselve more then ever! She was and is proud of me.
I am more than grateful to have experienced her love, her courage, her drive, her action taking mentality and her LOVE in my life.
She was this Mum, you would imagine in Hollywood movies. The one, who can read your mind even if you do not want to, the best Mum ever and if she can read this – she would send me a text message with; so fantastic what you do!
My business is all about change. Most of you changing from outside – but there is a change inside which will take place!
In der Position als Sales Director musste ich mir finanziell im Laufe des Monats kaum Sorgen machen.
Vieles konnte ich out-sourcen, so ganz modern halt.
Eine gute Fee kam 1 x die Woche und als sie wieder ging, glänzten die Badezimmer, die Küche erstrahlte in ihrer Sauberkeit, die Wäsche war feinsäuberlich gewaschen, gebügelt und lagen jeweils auf den frisch bezogenen Betten bereit für den Kleiderschrank.
